Saturday, October 30, 2010

Solitary Confinement

Now I understand why solitary confinement is such a terrible punishment. It is difficult to be stuck with One's own thoughts, rattling around and around in circles.   I am getting tired of this, being stuck alone in my little casita. My friends Cheryl and Billy came to visit with me this morning and I couldn't get out to open the gate for them. Since I only have a half cast on, I don't dare risk walking with no one near me. I don't want to fall and cause another broken bone. So I sit here, or on the bed, hour after hour, thinking the same thoughts. Rehashing all the stupid mistakes and wrong turns I have taken in my life up to this point.

Fortunately, I have a good book to read but I am almost through it. I have watched all the movies my son downloaded on my computer. I did all my housework, cleaned myself up, made the bed. Not much else to do in this little room.   I will close this for now. No need to depress others with my sense of futility.


  1. Hi,
    Hope you are feeling better each day, please be positive and look on the bright side, good luck.


  2. Hi Linda, Thank you for writing. I just am bored here.....Nice to hear from the outside world. Patricia

  3. What's done Is done. Since you can't change the past you need to forgive yourself. As in, "I'm really sorry for the mistakes I've made, the people I may have hurt,etc..." Mean it, and next time you start falling into the pit of self pity, remind yourself you're forgiven! Well, it worked for me at age 58!

  4. Yes, I, too, frequently view an old film titled "Personal Regret".

    But, long ago, a smart therapist told me regret is a "thought fallacy" common amongst "older" people. I was to watch out for this trap when I got older. Now I am. And I entertain regret as well. However, I stop myself, switch gears & remember my psych doc's knowledge.

    The present is the greatest point of power. The Buddists shell out this "pearl" and they have a point. OK, your present sucks at the moment, so you're going to have to make the best of a bad situation.

    Can one of your friends get some of the trade in magazines at LCS? Magazines can be a nice distraction. Are there some funny joke books you can get your hands on?

    Hang in there! You're be back w/ your camera in time. So many people admire your humble but real & professional blog.

  5. Okay, Okay, I am so sorry to have inflicted my own depressed feelings on my readers...Maybe I just won't write again until I feel more positive. Thank you guys for the reminder that feeling badly about my life and my past is a dead end street. P

  6. Don't apologise one bit! You're just keeping it real.

    Being honest is exactly what makes your blog quite a bit better than so many, which tend to the brag, the lecture, the constant drip of expat wowie zowie.

    Hope you are feeling better soon.

  7. Thank you so much. I appreciate your support. Patricia

  8. This is "your" blog/journal/diary. If you want to write about how you feel then do it! Sometimes going on about how you truly feel is cleansing. Perhaps you can use this "alone" time for reflecting on things you want to change about yourself. Sometimes it's good to be alone. Force us to spend time with who we really are. Keep on writing. Good or bad thoughts it's your blog.

  9. HI Brenda, Thank you for writing to me. Reflecting on things I want to change about myself is part of the problem, not the solution....I think too much about my faults....... But I will keep on writing. Thank you again. Patriia