New Year Holiday Sadness

 Yesterday I went to the plaza to take photos of the beautiful Christmas decorations and I was planning on uploading them on the blog. I also met another woman who is also a blogger. I took her photos and was going to put that on too. I was thinking I wouldn't write on the blog at all after I decided what needed to be done but I promised to keep it going. So here I am but just to keep the blog going.

This afternoon I have to put down my dog down and possibly my cat. I have had Chico and Olive for probably fifteen years. They have moved with me several times and kept me company. I don't know what I would have done without them and their love. But they both are old and sick and I feel selfish keeping them alive when I can see that they are suffering with their various illnesses. Even this morning Chico got up and went right back to bed and Olive has quickly disappeared somewhere in the house to hide out.

It is going to be a hard afternoon for all of us. So, I am not up to putting those photos on my computer. It may be a few more days before I write again. I don't want to put sad or negative things on here. But I have just done that. I apologize for bringing anyone down. I am sure many of you have had to go through the same thing with a loved animal. At this point, I never want to have another animal because this part of it is too painful. 

Many people are going through far worse things than I am this time of year. I watch the news every morning and see some of it.  I send everyone my good wishes and hopes that the new year will bring happiness if you are suffering now for one reason or another. Loving is so painful at the end. Right now, I am wondering if it is worth it to love another animal because they die so soon.  I will write here after all of this is over. Thank you for encouraging me to write on here again. I will do my best in a few days to get those photos on. Thanks, p

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE

 Just for fun, I decided to see what was happening with my blog. I thought maybe someone else had taken it over, like advertisers. I don't know much about computers. 

What a surprise to see that after all these months, it is still there. I guess it will always be there. How strange. It is like finding an old friend that I thought I would never see again. Familiar, yet unfamiliar.  I quit writing for a long time. Have been consumed with other things and a bit bored with the blog. Mostly because I now live in an area that is not a tourist spot. San Antonio Tlayacapan is a quiet little Mexican town. It is just a five-minute bus ride from Ajijic but I rarely go there anymore. I mostly hang out in my neighborhood. 

 The holidays are still celebrated here but on a much smaller scale. Not a great place for taking travel photos. But a great place to live. I would never want to move back to Ajijic.  It is too busy for me these days.

Here is a recent photo of me as I am in the garden and trying to get rid of all the bugs.

In the photo above, I am trying to protect my face from the poison I just put on those stinging caterpillars in my garden. Their stings hurt for days. 

In the photo above, my kitty, Olive is sleeping soundly. That is what she does these days, sleep.

I seem to have lost a lot of photos when I got this new computer. So far, I haven't found Chico's, but I will keep looking. Maybe I will find the thousands of photos that are missing. 

I would like to start writing on the blog again and I hope I will do just that. I need the outlet. I miss writing.  The holidays seem like a good time to start up, but this season is a bad one for me. Maybe that is why I decided to write again, to connect with people out in the world. I am very isolated at the moment because both of my animals are sick. I feel that I need to stay home as much as possible to be with them.

Olive, my cat, has breathing problems and this cold weather has been hard on her. Chico, my dog has an enlarged heart and has been having seizures. I have him on medication and most of the time he just stands around looking stunned. I know I should have them both put down, but I still have hope that when it warms up again, maybe they will recover. At least, I hope I can keep them with me through this holiday season. I will have to relook at that in a week or so. I may be being very selfish to try to keep them alive and with me. Yes, a selfish wish and a case of loving them too much. They have been my family here for many years. My joy and my comfort. 

They both came to me when they were fully grown and I do not know their ages.  They are over fifteen years old because they have been with me that long.  We are all three old now. I am 78 years old, but I still don't believe it.

This morning I was dreaming that I was talking to someone, and I said, "I am only 20 years old. Why am I living with all these old people?"  And then I woke up as an old woman.  I was disoriented at first. It feels like only a few days ago I WAS only 20. And just a few days ago my two animals WERE running around the house with lots of energy. And my cat could even climb walls.  Those days are over for all three of us.  I am not 20. They are not young and spry. My question now is, why are we all still here? 

The only answer I can find is just to accept the slowing down and getting old and closer to death. Love the sunshine in the afternoons. Love being alive still. Love each other and anyone we meet. So, this is why I decided to write again. To reach out to others, just in case someone decides to check my blog again. I am still here. Happy Holidays again. I hope we all can see the good in our lives and all the reasons for us to still be alive in this cold holiday season.

 I must go now; Chico is needing me now. I hope to start writing here again. I miss all the loving responses from readers.