I am single. I have been single since 1991. I understand the problems of being single; doing things alone, making all the decisions and meeting other single people. I like to joke with my friends about being single. I say, The biggest advantage of being married is that you can always blame your partner for bad decisions. There is no one else to blame if you are single.
The statistics are not good if you are an older single woman. I am talking about meeting a man, nothing else. There are so many older single women than men. partly because of wars killing men off and men don't live as long as women and many older men prefer younger women.
When I first arrived in Guadalajara I met an American man my age going through customs. He joked about what he and his friends called, The Casserole Women. He said if a man's wife dies here within a short time a line of single American women show up at his door with casseroles.
I went to a class yesterday and there was one man, a very nice looking, intelligent, single American man teaching it and eight or so women, one other man.... There is a lot of competition here for men.
Sometimes it seems to me that the older the man, the younger the woman he wants. Mexico is a great place for single, older men. There are many single Mexican women here. The older man, even one twenty to thirty years older, looks good to them. The men have retirements and houses. They offer much security. And of course, now that the older man has Viagra, he is ready. I hate Viagra! Why can't old men just age naturally??? Why can't they just enjoy women their own age? I have met several men my age and much older who ended up marrying their much younger maids, twenty and thirty years younger. Sometimes the marriages work out and at other times they are disasters.
I think it would be easier for me to meet a Mexican man and have a relationship. Just give up on American men my age. Forget about them as they chase after the young Mexican women. Several Mexican men in their forties have made passes at me. I haven't responded. I see the pattern though. If I want to have a relationship with a man, I should look to the younger men just as the men do with women. For some reason much younger men aren't so threatened by an older woman. I wonder about this fact. Maybe it is because the older men are trying to recapture their younger selves and they see a young woman as doing that for them.
Some of the problems I have seen with older American men getting involved with the young Mexican women are; The younger woman immediately moves in her family, grown children and their children, if they are old enough to have grown children. The grandparents are on that list too. Families have to take care of the older generation. The Mexican government doesn't. If they are much younger women, then they will have young children to move in with them.
The American man is expected to pay for all these new people in his life. And there is always some emergency that he needs to pay for, such as a hospital bill, new toy for a grandchild, bail bond money for the wife's brother, coming out party for the wife's fifteen year old granddaughter, on and on....The list is endless. Or there is an ex husband standing in the wings, wanting to beat him up for taking his woman. How about that handsome younger gardener, the wife's age? He doesn't need Viagra and he has his eye on the wife. No wrinkles either. And the younger woman is of a different generation and culture and they don't have much in common. Or she is much too demanding for him, even with the help of the magic pill. I could go on and on with this list. I have heard many sad stories from men my age, crying about their fates. Sorry, I don't have much sympathy for them because they have so callously overlooked me.
On the other side, there is such a thing as Machismo. That is why I steer clear of Mexican men, even young handsome ones. Machismo requires that the man is in charge. I have been single too long to put up with that nonsense. Even though I joke about wanting someone else to take the blame for bad decisions, I really don't want that. So I am alone..... I have many single friends, men and women. I do things with them and I am happy for now with this arrangement.
These are my own prejudices and experiences. They don't always hold true. I have seen some very happy marriages between American men and Mexican women. Not a lot between American women and Mexican men. I would like my observations to be wrong. Sorry if I have offended anyone.
From time to time I am going to post photos of the single people I know here, men and women, Mexican and American. If you come to this area you might introduce yourself to them. Most single people here are open and friendly. We like to meet new people. Sometimes it is hard to be single in a married world.
chasing the tomato
22 hours ago