Monday, March 19, 2012
Friends Coming Down
Two of my friends are coming down in the next couple of weeks. It will be fun to see them again. I need the injection of enthusiasm because lately I have not done much. It is always nice to see things from the point of view of a new person. I get lazy and end up in my yard reading instead of going out and exploring. But I have seen everything and taken photos of everything here many times over. The obvious answer would be to take some trips but I can't get up the enthusiasm for that either. Why travel when it is so beautiful where I am? This is just an internal problem, not external.
I am talking with one friend on a daily basis on skype. Skype is a blessing. She has wanted to move here for thirty years and now she is finally going to do it. She is so excited that she can hardly sit still. I kind of envy her, the discovery of this place. When people first come here, including myself, there is a sense of magic in the air. It is so special here in every way. After awhile the pink cloud goes away and we are again left with ourselves. I have written about the pink cloud several times. Once someone attacked me about it, saying I was badmouthing the area. I am not. I am just commenting that when something is new, we are in a pink cloud, which is what the AA people call the first few months of sobriety. Then we settle into ourselves and get used to the beauty around us and become more realistic. No matter where we go, we take ourselves and our realities with us.
I believe we all have a basic reality and no matter where we live, we live with that from the inside. Our insides are first and foremost in creating our worlds, unless we are in a war zone or something extreme like that. Sooner or later we revert to ourselves and our personal views of the world. If we live with depression, it will come back after the pink cloud wears off. If we live with anger, we will eventually find lots of enemies here.
I hope not to get attacked for this maybe slightly cynical point of view. People sometimes write and ask me if they will be happy living here. I don't know how to answer questions like that. Are you happy where you are? That is what I want to say to them. But it is easier to deal with our internal problems when we are living in a beautiful environment.
Once again I am going to say something that caused someone to attack me but I think it is important: THIS IS NOT PARADISE. It is just a very beautiful place. Problems still exist here and also within ourselves....... We all do the best we can with what we have, both inside of us and outside of us. I hope to be more compassionate with myself and with others...... Life is often a struggle.
My friend often tells me a Buddhist belief: All life is suffering. If that is true, then I am grateful for all the happy times in between the suffering.