My Birthday Today

I am 67 years old today. My friends are having a small birthday dinner for me this evening at their house. Last year at this time I was in Portland with my family. This is the longest stretch of time I have stayed in Mexico. One year.  I have lost all desire to visit the States except to see my family and I would prefer for them to come here to see me. When I visit with them in Portland they are always busy, working and doing errands. When they come here, they are on vacation. They have time to relax and enjoy themselves. Life in the States is stressful for people, especially working people.

Birthdays are good times, like New Year's Day, to evaluate the past and look towards the future. My ankle is so much better and I can walk but now my lower back hurts when I walk. This getting old sometimes is difficult. After years of working and worrying about money, I am finally free of that world and now my body is beginning to betray me. Since moving here over four years ago, I have had an operation on my torn meniscus. I have fractured my wrist by sliding across my lawn. I have broken my ankle and had that operation. All these problems flare up from time to time, reminding me that I am no longer young.

The other night I had a dream that I had two beautiful rattan couches that I put out in the middle of a busy intersection for people to sit on when they got tired. Most of the people enjoyed having them there but a few were destructive to the couches. I questioned why I put my couches out for strangers to use if they were going to be intentionally destroyed.  When I woke up I thought about the dream and saw it as a metaphor of my blog. I put myself out for anyone in the world to see. Only two times have I received negative responses but I am so sensitive to criticism that those two responses weighed heavily on my mind.

I have always been a very private person, an introvert, an observer. The invisible one.  Sometimes I wonder why I do this blog and put myself into a vulnerable position. It is totally against my nature. But then I remember all the wonderful people I have met through this blog and all the comments from readers. So, I continue doing it. The couches will remain in the busy intersection for now. Thank you all for being part of my life in one way or another.......