Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Morning Thoughts



It is Wednesday, market day. I love market day. It is so much fun to be able to buy anything I want. This is the first time in my life I have had that privilege.

 Towards the end of her life, my mother told me one of her memories about grocery shopping. I was a young girl and my friend and I went to the grocery store with her. We wanted to try some exotic fruit but it was very expensive.  We begged her to buy it for us. My mother finally decided to not buy some other things she needed and she bought it. When we got home, no one liked it. We ended up throwing it away.

I can't tell you the point of her story because I couldn't figure out why she even told me about it or why she remembered it so many years later.

Maybe it was just to express a feeling of lack that was in our lives all the time. Poverty creates that. I always felt inappropriately dressed or out of step with my peers. I didn't have money for outside activities or special equipment. I went to my prom and refused to go inside because I realized as the other girls were entering that my dress wasn't a prom dress. It was something I borrowed from a friend and not dressy enough.

So why am I writing about these things this morning? Maybe because of some dreams I have recently had about lack and loss.  We all experience those things, some more often than others.  We may finally get our lives together and have enough money and time to do all the things we want but then we are too old and we have to deal with various physical problems.

Maybe this world is a classroom of sorts and loss is one of the subjects. How we deal with our losses teaches us how to be better people. Soul shaping lessons. 

Maybe I am thinking of these things because of recently watching an educational series on Netflix about the concentration camps. I was born in September of 1944. It was all going on then. The horrors. The far reaching losses not only to the Jewish people but to all of humanity.

Returning to my own simple life here in Mexico...... Market day means to me that I can buy any food that catches my fancy. The poverty mentality isn't part of my experience here. I feel like I belong to the community.  I feel accepted to both the expats and the Mexicans. The majority of people living here are friendly.

Sure, there is an undercurrent of violence. That exists in most of the world. But my everyday existence has nothing to do with that underworld. I walk among kind and gentle people. I am so grateful for my life here.  I can buy all the exotic fruit I want and if I don't like it, I can throw it away without feeling guilty.

15 comments:

  1. Pat, this is an incredibly powerful commentary. I've noticed the same thing in myself in the last few years. I'm not an extravagant person, on the average, so I've managed to save money pretty well. You get to the point where you could afford something if you REALLY wanted it, and then you find yourself spending less time thinking about what you want to buy. I'm often out shopping and suddenly tell myself "why are you here? you don't need anything. Nothing here will make you happier or solve a need." So I leave. I'm probably opening a can of worms saying this now, but-- I think men tend to think this way more than women do. Whereas men tend to shop when they NEED something, many women shop when they need something TO DO.....

    I guess when the choices before you aren't as numerous, it's easier to stop this buy-buy-buy mentality. I think that's a great thing.

    JimS. in Seattle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Jim, Thank you for writing. I really appreciate getting your thoughts on this subject. I was thinking that maybe this post was too personal and I would take it off but your comment changed my mind. I believe you are right about shopping differences between men and women. Also, I think as we get older, we realize that THINGS in this world won't make us happier.... It is just an inside job. P

      Delete
  2. somewhat like putting the exclamation mark on an old saying that---"less is more"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for that comment. So true..... P

      Delete
  3. Hi, Patricia:
    I too enjoyed this post, it is personal, but something most of us can identify with. Your comment above that "happiness is an inside job" is the ultimate truth, I think.

    Take care of yourself,
    Pat Y.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HI Pat, Good to hear from you. Hope all is well with you. Are you coming down soon? P

      Delete
  4. I don't even know where to start. I identify with so many parts of this post. I'll just leave it at that.

    You have a beautiful life and I'm so thrilled for you that you've got it. And that your earlier experiences in life cause you to recognize and value what you have.

    Love, love the market pictures. And all the others. And I love how you love Chico. Sorry this comment is a bit disjointed. Thank you for this post.
    Melinda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Melinda, Thank you so much for writing to me. It means a lot to me. Thank you for reading my blog.... P

      Delete
  5. Pat, I also appreciate your openness. And I am glad you did not delete.

    Thanks, Jim, for prompting me to think about shopping tendencies.

    My belief is that the NEED to buy is not gender specific, rather, it relates to the amount of advertising we are subjected to and how susceptible we are to those messages. I buy only what I need, and even then, abhor having to go shopping. My husband takes great delight in going online to research his next purchase. Perhaps it's because I grew up in a small town in Canada and after moving to the US was overwhelmed by all of the choices - for everything!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Sylva, Thank you for writing. Interesting about too many choices. I read in a book on happiness that when there are too many choices, people are overwhelmed and don't buy anything. I am the same way..... P

      Delete
  6. I agree with you totally (you too JimS!). I used to stop at the mall regularly years ago, now I almost despise mall shopping, or any shopping for that matter. Even my kitchen cupboards and fridge feel neglected these days!! LOL!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Donna, Thanks for writing. I also hate to shop at malls. Everything is so EXPENSIVE..... And I get overwhelmed by too much stuff... P

      Delete
    2. These are all beautiful comments and felt by many. Pat, you are touching many lives!! Thanks!

      Delete
    3. Same here with the kitchen cupboards--and the fridge is an embarrassment. My son comes home from college and says, "Mom, really??"

      Delete
    4. Hi Lorrie, Thank you for your comment. It means a lot to me to get this kind of feedback. It keeps me writing. P

      Delete