Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Morning Thoughts

I have been looking at the weather up north of the border and feeling grateful for living here in all this sunshine. Finally it has gone back to the normal amount of noise in my neighborhood, which means that I have had well over a week of sleeping through the nights. And the children are back in school, which means that I am swimming again. No sleep and no real exercise did a number on me. 

A friend wrote to me that it seemed like I have been depressed lately from her reading of my blog. YES, I have been depressed. It was a hard year for me....  especially with being on the brink of death. I learned a valuable lesson from that experience. Not to be afraid of dying. It was so peaceful. I don't think that kind of peace is possible while living in this world. Living means dealing with problems. There seems to be no getting away from that. So if we choose to live, we choose to deal with all the problems that come up. 

I remember my friend Dale, years ago he said to me that all his friends in the United States thought he was having parties down here all the time. They did not realize that he was just living a normal life, dealing with all the issues that come up anywhere you live in the world. Poor people might think that having money would be the solution. Sick people might think having good health would make them happy. But wealthy people and healthy people all have problems, just a different set of them.....  That is life. (And if you don't have any personal problems at the moment, read the news.)

  I guess I could pretend that all is rosy in my life and that I have NO problems but I am not a real estate agent. I am not trying to sell this area to readers. I only want to show you an honest view of my life here. I try not to be negative because negativity always comes back to haunt me. But sometimes I have to say my truth. 

For me, last year was very hard. I argued with two of my dearest long term friends and we went our separate ways. I almost died. My last lover and one of my best friends died without my knowledge. I found out from a phone call. My son and daughter-in-law were going through hell, trying to sell their house, hemorrhaging money after each inspection.  And I lost my hair after all these experiences. 

It is difficult for me to hide the affects of these experiences. They all happened within a few months of each other. In my life, that always seems to be the case. Bad things happen in clusters and good things happen in clusters. This was a huge cluster of bad things. I didn't even write much on this blog during that time and a minor problem was that my camera broke. At least That was something that could easily be replaced, in time.  

Old friends cannot be replaced. Old lovers cannot be replaced. They carry with them our pasts which are our wealth. Sometimes our memories are all we have left and to have them shared with others who have also experienced them is a real gift.

 I will leave all that behind for now. I have spent a lot of time and energy researching about the health care system here and choices you can make regarding your own health care. I have also written up a small list of helpers. People who will take you to the hospitals and doctors and interpret for you and some will even stay in the hospital with you. This article is going to be published on . I will let you know when it is published. Then if you are interested, you can go to that site and press blogs. And they have a list of the helpers at the Access office on Colon. If you know anyone else who would be a good helper please have that person contact the office. 

I am going to close this post with the recovery groups' Serenity prayer because it seems appropriate to the feelings I have just expressed. 

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change.....
Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.....

This was us ( Me and Brian) before all hell broke loose..... I miss you Brian and your little dog Lucky.....


  1. Beautiful post Patricia! Wishing you abundant blessings in the New Year.

  2. Thank you Barbara. I wish the same for you too. P

  3. I'm sorry to hear of all your huge losses, it's so hard to unexpectedly lose someone you highly value, without having a chance to say goodbye. I hope you will cherish your memories. Best wishes. Jane

  4. Hi Pat,
    A lovely post and beautiful picture of you, Brian, and Lucky. I have to agree with you about problems, they follow you everywhere! Some are worse, and some times are worse than others, but we soldier on! Wishing you a calmer and happier 2017!
    Karen in VA (where it's 68 degrees for the moment!)

    1. Hi Karen, thanks for writing. Sounds like nice weather there now. P