Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Morning Thoughts---Freedom vs Security
I am back again after a very difficult few weeks, or was that only days? I can't keep track of time anymore. One day recently has felt like a week because of everything that has been happening in my life. I am almost completely moved to the upstairs apartment now. The refrigerator still has to come up and one painting. I had to give away a couple of paintings that I loved but in a new life, sacrifices must be made. At least I finally was brave enough to move to another part of the yard. Maybe the next move will actually be out of the yard. Baby steps. I have about half the things that I had in the other place. I hope this move has taught me a lesson about collecting things. DON'T!
My feelings about staying in the same place waver between wanting to be secure to wanting freedom. Maybe we all struggle with this issue. Many times, having security means that we are not free. I have been living in the same place for so many years, mostly for security. Not that it is anymore secure to be in one place but it gives the illusion of security when everything stays the same in one's environment. (How many years? Six to eight, I have no idea at this point.)
But there is always the wish for freedom in the background of my mind. I want to travel Mexico and see the other beautiful towns, meet new people, etc. But I don't. I stay where I feel secure. The older I get, the more security oriented I become. Maybe that is a big reason it is mostly younger people traveling the world. They haven't had bad things happen to them and so they don't seek out security. They seek freedom and adventure.
There is still the big battle going on in my neighborhood over the barriers. If you are interested, you can look it up on the Guadalajara Reporter online. For now, I still have to climb over the fence.
My internet was finally fixed and the reason I couldn't put on any photos was discovered by the man who came to fix it. When I bought my new camera and SIMS card, I forgot to lower the pixels. It was on the highest amount and that is why it was taking so long to put on a photo. In my last post I only had one photo. Of course it looked better because of the higher pixels but I can't spend five minutes putting on one photo.
So things are changing in my life. I am back to writing the blog. I have once again fallen in love with Mexico. Specifically Ajijic. This is Wednesday Market once again. For now, I am back to my old routines. Maybe in a month or so, after I have settled in here, I will take a trip somewhere.
I don't know if I still have any readers, but if so, thanks for hanging in there. And thank you for all your encouragement when I was so upset over the gate. Life goes on and I now refuse to give those people any more of my power. At least I can declare that much of my freedom. Emotional freedom from bullies. And maybe internal freedom is more important than freedom to move about in the external world. For now at least.