Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Morning Thoughts---Freedom vs Security


I am back again after a very difficult few weeks, or was that only days? I can't keep track of time anymore. One day recently has felt like a week because of everything that has been happening in my life. I am almost completely moved to the upstairs apartment now. The refrigerator still has to come up and one painting. I had to give away a couple of paintings that I loved but in a new life, sacrifices must be made. At least I finally was brave enough to move to another part of the yard. Maybe the next move will actually be out of the yard. Baby steps. I have about half the things that I had in the other place. I hope this move has taught me a lesson about collecting things. DON'T!

My feelings about staying in the same place waver between wanting to be secure to wanting freedom. Maybe we all struggle with this issue. Many times, having security means that we are not free. I have been living in the same place for so many years, mostly for security. Not that it is anymore secure to be in one place but it gives the illusion of security when everything stays the same in one's environment.  (How many years? Six to eight, I have no idea at this point.)

But there is always the wish for freedom in the background of my mind. I want to travel Mexico and see the other beautiful towns, meet new people, etc. But I don't. I stay where I feel secure. The older I get, the more security oriented I become. Maybe that is a big reason  it is  mostly younger people traveling the world. They haven't had bad things happen to them and so they don't seek out security. They seek freedom and adventure.

There is still the big battle going on in my neighborhood over the barriers. If you are interested, you can look it up on the Guadalajara Reporter online. For now, I still have to climb over the fence.

My internet was finally fixed and the reason I couldn't put on any photos was discovered by the man who came to fix it. When I bought my new camera and SIMS card, I forgot to lower the pixels. It was on the highest amount and that is why it was taking so long to put on a photo. In my last post I only had one photo. Of course it looked better because of the higher pixels but I can't spend five minutes putting on one photo.

So things are changing in my life. I am back to writing the blog. I have once again fallen in love with Mexico. Specifically Ajijic. This is Wednesday Market once again. For now, I am back to my old routines. Maybe in a month or so, after I have settled in here, I will take a trip somewhere.

I don't know if I still have any readers, but if so, thanks for hanging in there. And thank you for all your encouragement when I was so upset over the gate. Life goes on and I now refuse to give those people any more of my power. At least I can declare that much of my freedom. Emotional freedom from bullies.  And maybe internal freedom is more important than freedom to move about in the external world. For now at least.

18 comments:

  1. So glad to read you are on a new path. Change is difficult, but often turns out better than one could imagine. I send warm thoughts and hugs your way. Keep posting. We all learn from and encourage each other.

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  2. Thank you Nancy. I appreciate your encouragement. p

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  3. OK. Here is what you need to do. You have talked several times about seeing other parts of Mexico. You don;t need to make a prison for yourself -- when you have the easy possibility of just getting up, getting on a bus, and experience the freedom of seeing this fascinating and frustrating country that we now call home. Just do it. You will feel invigorated. I guarantee it. We are far too young to be rehearsing what the funeral parlor will feel like.

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  4. Hi Steve, Cute, yes as soon as my landlord returns from Canada and I no longer have to dog sit, I will do that. Thanks for writing and encouraging me. p

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  5. So glad you are still there and still blogging! I hope to be in Ajijic next winter and want to meet the person who takes such great pics of the village.

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    1. Thank you. For sure, we will meet up. p

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  6. Of course you still have readers! I've been checking your blog daily, trying to strike a balance between being supportive vs. poking a sore spot. Glad you are feeling a little better about things.We are definitely pulling for you. Hope to meet up with you when I'm down there at the end of this month!

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    1. Good to know. Thank you. Yes, let's meet up when you get here. p

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  7. We're here...so glad you're feeling better! Things are looking up... :)
    Karen in VA

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  8. Hi Karen, Yes, I feel much better. Thank you for your concern. p

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  9. You definitely have readers, Patricia! Keep writing and keep experiencing new things!

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  10. Thank you Carol. That is very encouraging. po

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  11. How wonderful! I'm glad you feel like blogging again and that your ankle continues to improve.
    Glad you didn't let the narrow minded bullies win.
    Hope we can continue to enjoy your fabulous photos and interesting perspectives.
    I always look forward to your posts.
    Take care.
    Phyllis

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  12. You are my virtual connection to Mexico! I love your photos and Morning Thoughts postings. Take care, JackB

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  13. You will always have readers because your posts are so great. Sometimes I have to catch up on a few months but I always come back! I completely agree with Steve's comment. If I make a permanent move in the next three years, I'd love to travel with you, even to little towns in Mexico. Maybe we can go and visit Steve!! Funny though, my son just finished a semester in London. I went to see him just before Easter. I had been to London many, many years ago and enjoyed it. This time it was so very crowded. I almost couldn't wait to go home!

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    1. HI Lorrie, I don't like crowds either. Yes it would be fun to visit Steve. Let me know when you are in town. Thanks for writing. p

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