Friday, June 28, 2013

Morning Thoughts


I have often thought about what to put on my blog and what to leave off. I have learned through the years that if I am negative or if I say something negative about someone else, it always comes back to me tenfold. Negativity breeds negativity. So there are many things that happen in my life that I don't share on this blog.

Life can throw us some pretty bad punches.   We have all have had them thrown at us from time to time. And no matter how hard we try to control life, WE CAN'T. We can create the illusion of control and that is one reason for daily routines. And for staying in one place. But every so often we are made aware of how vast life is and how little of it we do control. Or understand.

I decided to put this tragedy on my blog because it is so close to my heart. Everything I do from now on will in some way be affected by what happened yesterday. Anyone who has lost a loved one will understand.

My son received a call from the sheriff in Arcata saying that his father was found in a car along an isolated road. He had shot and killed himself. My son told me and I fell apart. His father has been in and out of our lives for almost fifty years. He always had emotional and mental problems. He couldn't handle family life and left us when my son was just two years old. He threatened to shoot himself all during that time. It was always a fear in the back of our minds. He finally did it.

So if I don't write on my blog for a few days, you will understand why I am quiet. This has hit me really hard. I may just turn off the computer for awhile....... 

27 comments:

  1. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this sad news. Unfortunately, I am all too familiar with this subject so I can relate to how your son is feeling. There really are no words for this tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Connie in Texas

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  2. Pat...I am sorry for you and you sons loss

    Sincerley............Collette

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  3. Praying for you and your son Patricia. So sad, I'm glad you are In Portland with your with your family.
    Blessings,
    Susie H in Fl

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    1. HI Susie, Thank you. We appreciate your prayers. P

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  4. Oh Patricia. I am so so sorry. I know suicide (in 1985 my fiancé shot himself) and the horror of it. Bless you and your son. What a terrible thing. I hold you both in my prayers and pray your hearts know peace again soon.

    It is a blessing that you and your son are there for each other at this sad time.

    Barbara

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  5. Thoughts and prayers are with you...
    Karen in VA

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  6. Pat Sorry to hear of you and your sons loss. Although I have not met you personally I read your blog on a daily basis. It is this blog that has help me make up my mind to move to Ajijic. You always seem to have positive attitude despite what hardships life throws your way. I know you will rebound from this tragedy like you have in the past and I hope to someday meet you in person.

    Cheers Tom

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    1. Thank you Tom. Yes, let's meet sometime. p

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    2. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son. Hold on to each other tightly.
      Dios de bendigo..........

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  7. Thinking of you today. You were meant to be in Portland at this time. While I know this puts a damper on your vacation, you must feel fortunate that you are there with your son. Take care.

    Connie in Texas

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    1. Hi Connie, Yes, I don't know what I would have done if I had been alone in Mexico. Having my family around has been a blessing. Thanks for writing. P

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  8. I hope each day brings you and your son healing and peace.

    Jack in Portland

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  9. Twice affected by suicide (my father and my stepson), I know at some level what you are experiencing. Of course, no one can ever know exactly how others are feeling when faced with such tragedy. Know this--my prayers are with you and your son.

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    1. Thank you so much for writing. I don't know how you managed. I am barely making it through the day. But so much love has been sent this way that it helps. P

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  10. Patricia,

    We'll see you when you come back home to Ajijic. I'm sure that you're whole Mexican family keeps you in their thoughts and prayers.

    Jim and Chris

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  11. I am so sorry for what you and your son are going thru and so sorry that your son's father must have been suffering to the point where he gave up all hope. It is a tragedy for all of you. It is a good thing you are there close to your son during this sad time, I hope you and your son are able to find peace for something that is incomprehensible.

    Tammy

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    1. Thank you Tammy. Incomprehensible is a good word. P

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  12. So sorry to hear about your loss. As others have said - you were meant to be with your son in Portland at that moment in time. Prayers for you, your son, and his wife. Peace be with you...

    Donna

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  13. I am so sorry to hear that such tragedy has touched you and your son. Thank you for sharing it with your online family...we support you always. As difficult as these past weeks have been, this event proves to me that Portland is where you were meant to be right now. I send you many hugs, and will keep you and your son in my prayers.
    See you in August,
    Sandra

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    1. Thank you so much Sandra. Yes, I will be back in August. P

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