Tuesday, June 4, 2013
It is almost time for me to leave Mexico and I am missing it already. How is that possible? I have a feeling that I may shell out an extra two hundred bucks to change my ticket again and return before the seven weeks are over. That just seems like too long to be away from the life that I love.
Another part of me is looking forward to seeing my family again. And yet another part wants to travel when I get back from Portland. I am conflicted. I would like to live all those lives at once. According to the quantum theory, we do. We have many parallel lives. At least that is the belief some people have extracted from quantum physics. I think it is an over simplification of an extremely complicated theory. But it is fun to consider. I could be living in Mexico and Portland and traveling to other exotic places all at once. No limits.
One thing about getting older is that we become aware of more limits. I remember my mother saying to me, "That's the last time I......"
(I have written about this subject many times. I hope I don't bore you with it again.) I would feel irritated with her when she said she was doing something for the last time. How did she know it was the LAST time? That was just too depressing for me to think about. But of course she was right. Those were the last times. And now in my own life I also have many LAST TIMES. Mostly they just slide past me because I am not that aware. Maybe my mother was more aware of the meaning of events in her life than I am.
I doubt if I will ever climb a tree again and I can add to this list hundreds of other things that involve risk to my body. After breaking my ankle, that list grew. When I was a little girl, I did cartwheels for hours at a time. I loved doing cartwheels. I can't remember my last cartwheel time because the desire has left me too. Fortunately, as we shed the things we are capable of doing, our desire to do them also goes away. We adjust to our limitations.
Looks like I am writing myself into a depression. I had better quit before it gets too deep and I start writing about all the other things I will probably never do again......