Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Importance of Being Vulnerable



I spent most of today on my computer. It was an overcast and rainy day out there and I had no desire to walk around on those slippery cobblestones. I looked at the weather report and it will be sunny again in a day or two. So today was cooking, cleaning and computer time for me. Chico kept me company but he was running in and out all day because his owner, my landlord, just returned from a month in Canada.  Poor Chico. His affections were divided today.

Last month I finally signed up for Netflix.  After watching the entire eight seasons of Desperate Housewives, I have started on the Ted Talks. These are interesting talks on many different subjects. So far, I have enjoyed them but I have to be careful not to go overboard like I did with Desperate Housewives where I watched an episode while eating breakfast, one while eating dinner or cleaning up my place and three in the evening before bed. I tend to do things like that. Like eating the same food for months at a time until I am so sick of it that I can't ever eat that food again. Moderation. That was never my strong point.

The Ted Talk that I recently watched was about making human connections. This talk was given by Brene Brown and it was titled The Power of Vulnerability.  She said that without vulnerability there can be no true connection to others. And making connections was one of the most important things we do in life.  Being vulnerable also means taking risks and overcoming our fears of rejection. It means that we must accept ourselves with all our imperfections and be willing to show them to others. If we can't accept ourselves, then we can't be vulnerable and we can't accept others either.

This is a hard one for me. I rarely put photos of myself on this blog. Because I don't like my photos. Sometimes when I look at them, instead of seeing me, I see my mother and my father. As if their faces have been layered and fused, like a mask over mine. It is disconcerting. Maybe I will have to work on loving them more so I can accept seeing them in my own face.  Self acceptance is a lot of work.

 So this evening I took some photos of myself to put on here. No reason to wait until I have lost weight. I may never be thin again. No reason to wait until I work out all my emotional stuff with my parents. That may never happen either. No reason to wait until I..... fill in the blanks.  Just me as I am this evening.......  Trying to work out this being vulnerable stuff. Life is a journey, not a destination. Or as they say in recovery programs; Progress, not perfection.

22 comments:

  1. Pat: I much prefer your shorter haircut- looks great. I also hate my photo taken but it has nothing to do with my past as a kid I was a camera hog lol. P.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi P. Thanks for the compliment on my hair. It is more comfortable. P

      Delete
  2. Gorgeous!!!

    Barbara

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Barbara. Thank you for the compliment. P

      Delete
  3. I will be 61 next month. As I watch the sand in the hour glass I have been wrestling with the same kinds of thoughts lately. I have built up quite a few walls over the years. There are some things I would like to change about myself, but there is not enough sand left in the glass to do it all. I like the part about progress, not perfection. I have appreciated the honesty and vulnerability in your blog. I come here because I identify with you and to get a glimpse of the possible. Thank you.

    Pat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Pat, And I thank you for continuing to read my blog and write comments. It really helps me to feel connected.... P

      Delete
  4. You look great! !Que linda!

    Karen in VA

    ReplyDelete
  5. Did you recently cut your hair? It looks great and I think it takes a few years off. I am wearing mine longer these days but may cut it shorter soon.

    Good blog post today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Connie, Thanks for writing. Yes, I did cut my hair. It is easier now to take care of. Glad you liked the post. P

      Delete
  6. Am I the only one who wonders about the change in which side you have combed your hair to? I like it best in the top pic---to the left. And you do look great and yes, younger too!
    You must have two Connie followers!
    Connie in Issaquah, Wa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. HI Connie, Thank you for the compliment. I didn't change my part. The top photo is in the mirror so it looks like it is on the other side. Maybe I should try parting it on that side and see if it looks better. Thanks, P

      Delete
  7. I really enjoy your pictures but I must say when you write posts they are very thought provoking. your share so much of yourself with us readers. Life is really a hard journey in which one must find peace. What defines peace to one person is different to another. So the search continues..........
    I do really like your hair. it looks very nice.
    take care,Shelagh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Shelagh for that comment. I really appreciate your feedback. P

      Delete
  8. hi pat,

    hadn't done much blog reading lately because as you know, last friday i fell and hurt my right hand and just have been busy working, doing things one handed and just being tired. anyway, as soon as i saw your pix i noticed your hair cut and also that you look like you've lost weight even though you said you haven't. for me that is a constant battle, but i just accept, or try, to accept myself as i am. like you said, no reason waiting till..... i am glad you posted your pix. i think you look great!

    take care,

    teresa in nagoya

    p.s. steve and i went to a park this morning to see the autumn colors. there was an area where there were a bunch of people with their dogs. we chatted for a bit, one lady spoke some english and i use my broke japanese as much as i can. anyway, one of the dogs was a jack russell terrier, named jack. just like ours who passed away in march. i hope you and chico have many more happy times together. he is lucky to have 2 people who care so much about him.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Teresa, Great hearing from you again. I hope your hand will quickly heal. I fractured my wrist a few years ago here and it still hurts off and on. Thank you for the compliment on my photo. Yes, Chico is lucky to be so loved. Last night he was torn between two houses. He kept running back and forth, unable to decide which house to go to for the night. I think he has some Jack Russell in him. P

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your words alway touch me. You write with pure wonder and you just delight me all the time. Your honesty is beyond belief. I could never bare my soul as you do, what a gift to all of us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Pat, Thank you for those lovely words. I appreciate you too. P

      Delete
  11. Glad to see your pics. Very nice. Your thoughts resonate with me quite a bit. ~ Bill

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Bill, Thank you for commenting. I am happy to read that my feelings have reached your heart. P

      Delete
  12. Hi Pat-

    I really like your haircut too. You also look good in light blue.

    How is the busy season going there? Do you think there are just as many snowbirds this year as there was last year?

    Liz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Liz, Thank you for the compliment. I haven't gotten around much lately so I can't answer that question. I have noticed a lot more people in town. P

      Delete