I wanted to be objective enough to be able to take photos of my doctor and the clinic but I was unable to do that. Something about that big C word that made me unable to think straight. I am so glad my friend was at the appointment with me because I couldn't relax enough to ask the questions I had written down. She asked them for me.
I like the doctor. Dr. Arch. He comes into the Mascaras clinic to see patients but his office is in Guadalajara. He charged me 500 pesos for the consultation. He seems very kind and competent. I have to go for more tests at the hospital in Guadalajara on Friday. Maybe by then I will be able to regain my emotional balance enough to take some photos of the hospital, at least of the outside of the hospital. It feels too invasive once I get inside of these healing places to be snapping photos. Plus, I become so scared that it takes all my energy just to maintain. Objectivity goes out the window.
I don't know if I will be able to blog much this week with this problem hanging over my head. Time seems to stand still. I have no energy to do things except obsess. I am sure anyone who has been through health scares can relate to how I am feeling at the moment. I don't want to go into these dark spaces on my blog. It would be better not to write at all than to share these moments.
I will try to take some happy photos during this waiting period. Maybe that will keep my mind occupied. I need to stay away from researching online about all the complications that can happen. My theory from when I broke my ankle is this; people write about all the problems online because they are in pain and need to reach out to others. If there were no problems, then they don't bother writing about it. So it is probably best to stay away from compulsively reading about all the terrible experiences others have had with similar problems as mine. I remember one person online saying that she had to have her foot cut off after she broke her ankle because it didn't heal right. Now that I didn't need to read! Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.....