Thursday, November 24, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving, with some time set aside to think of all the good things in your lives and say Thank You for them...

I will never forget when my son was a young boy, maybe three years old, it was Thanksgiving and I explained that it was a day to give thanks for the good in our lives. So he ran around the house putting little Thank You stickers on everything that he liked, including chasing after the dog. Of course the dog would have none of that nonsense. But it made me feel wonderful that he was so much into giving thanks. I hope he will always have that quality.  

Those were hard times for us. Just as the past few months have been very hard on me. 

I have been writing this blog for years and sometimes it is difficult to keep it going, especially when life turns bad. And I have noticed in my own life that good things or bad things always come close to the same time. The first bad thing was almost dying. I survived, thanks to the quick thinking of my landlord and my friends. After that experience I was no longer afraid of dying. Dying can be easy. I was just floating  away into great peace. But living is much harder. The twelve thousand dollar bill wasn't so easy to accept. That is a year's living expenses for me here. But I am still alive. Something to be grateful for. What is money anyway when compared to being alive? 

Almost immediately after that, came two deep betrayals of trust from people I love dearly. What do you have if you don't have trust? Not much. 

And then my ex boyfriend died.  I had been calling him every few days for a couple of years at that point and his silence now is so hard on me. Yet, I know that it is peaceful on the other side. And I KNOW he was miserable and always in pain. Blind and stuck in a wheel chair.  It is for myself that I grieve, not for him. I believe that he is in a much better place. 

And now, after all that stress, my hair is falling out. I may be completely bald soon.  I had to have it cut off a few days ago and I still can't get used to having it so short. I have never had short hair. I am sure this hair falling out is because of the surgery and then all the stress on top of that. And hopefully, it will grow back. In the meantime, I don't know that person in the mirror. Chico still recognizes me.  Olive too.  But I am not feeling very social. I am spending Thanksgiving Day, today, at the spa, alone. Swimming and resting in the sunshine. And maybe while I am there I will write down all the things that I am grateful for in my own life. First one on the list is the fact that I am still alive!  According to the doctors, it was touch and go there for a few days. Second on that list would be the friends who rushed over here and forced me to go to the hospital. They saved me. 

I have not been very social for a few months. Too much bad stuff on my mind. And when I feel this way, it is really difficult to keep the blog alive. I always consider it a living thing that has to be fed from time to time. But when so many bad things happen, it is hard to write my truth on the blog. 

I know that people read my blog because they want to know what it is like living in Mexico. Funny, last night I was looking online for the world's most dangerous places and they included Mexico in that list! What a shock. They should have included the United States with all the shootings that happen up there. So I started thinking more about danger. There is outside danger and there is inside danger.  For me, the internal danger is harder to bare. And that can happen anywhere in the world.  Like that old saying, No matter where you go, There you are.....   

I am hoping to heal myself at the spa these next few months. And also I want to apologize to the people who have tried to reach out and meet me during this awful time of my life. I have not been very friendly.  I just want to be alone and try to regain my strength.  But I also appreciate the fact that people are still reading the blog and still writing to me and caring for me.  I appreciate all those friendships and hopefully soon I will be back on track. Again, Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Here is how I look now. Like I said, Chico doesn't care. He always loves me. If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life, person or dog or cat or any other living being, who loves you unconditionally, put that at the top of your list of things to be thankful for today......

 

 

30 comments:

  1. Happy Thanksgiving to you Pat. I know the holidays are hard. Please hang in there and do try to socialize, it is much healthier for you. I don't post much but I check your blog every day and think of what and how you are doing. Be strong.

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  2. Thank you Fran for your concern. Happy Thanksgiving to you. P

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  3. You are a very brave woman and will get through these hard days' Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless you.

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  4. Swimming and aunshine sound like a good therapy, happy thanksgiving as well.

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    1. Hi Shelagh. Yes, so far it has been a good day. The pool was almost empty and lots of sunshine. Happy Thanksgiving to you too. Thanks for writing. P

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  5. Thank you so much David and Sandra. I certainly don't feel brave. Happy Thanksgiving to you both. P

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  6. I started reading your blog because I was curious about living in Mexico, but I've continued because you're so authentic in sharing yourself and that is such a rare quality, in blogs and in life. I think you should do whatever you need to get through this dark time, but don't lose heart. Best, Jane

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    1. Thank you so much Jane. I appreciate your words. I hope you are having a wonderful Thanksgiving. P

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  7. Hi Pat, I love your short hair cut. Happy Thanksgiving. You are a strong woman.

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    1. Thank you so much. happy Thanksgiving. P

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  8. Hi Pat,
    You look great! Really! But I understand your concern. Sound like you are a woman with a plan.
    We had a warm Thanksgiving here in Virginia, but I wish I could have joined you in the Mexican sunshine!
    Hugs,
    Karen in VA

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  9. Hi Karen, thank you. Yes it was a beautiful day here. P

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  10. You look fabulous in your new hair cut--change can many times be the spark in viewing yourself in a different light.

    Hey----we can't all be wrong/chin up/head held high and back/deep breath and go get life by the seat of the pants.

    I am thankful this Thanksgiving Day for the opportunity to find and ENJOY your Blog and to get to know you. I also check everyday to see if anything new. SO HAPPY TO KNOW YOU

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    1. Hi Larry, good to get to know you too. Thanks for keeping in touch. P

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  11. This is my 100% honest opinion, you look great with short hair! I rarely write a comment but I always read and enjoy your writings, and I felt I have to let you know this that there are many other people like me who enjoy reading your blogs and admire you as a very strong woman. Stay strong as always and better things will come along. Happy Thanksgiving! Nicole from Canada.

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  12. Happy Thanksgiving Patricia - How nice to see you here. Know you're beautiful and your hair has absolutely nothing to do with your beauty. Sure it will take a bit of time to adjust to a different style, it always does. You just may end up loving the ease of short hair and wondering why you didn't do it sooner! Meanwhile....I always say we're lucky when all something costs is money. The hospital bill will get paid, life will go on (Gracias a Dios). I hope the remainder of the year and this holiday season is full of an abundance of good things for you. Bless you always.

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    1. Hi Barbara, thank you for the encouragement. P

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  13. Please don't isolate yourself. I find when I feel sad it really helps to be with people. All the best to you.

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    1. Hi Donna, good to hear from you. For me, when I am sad, being with people makes me feel worse because then On top of feeling sad I feel guilty for it. It is better for me to be alone and work through it. P

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  14. Hope you feel better soon. Take good care of yourself. Sylvie

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  15. A day late, but Happy Thanksgiving to you! Sunshine and a bit of exercise in the pool is good therapy. Hope you bounce back stronger than ever.

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    1. Hi Scott, Thank you. I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving too. I really enjoyed the pool and the sunshine. Feeling better already. P

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  16. Pat,
    Count me in with everyone who has already said-- your new hair looks GREAT! It may be a big change for you, but whatever else might be stressing you now, just put that one out of your mind-- because you look terrific. I'll bet when your hair grows back (and it will), you'll seriously consider keeping your new 'do. And you should. :-)

    Thanks for all your astute observations, I always enjoy reading them, and they sure help to center me sometimes. Wishing you an enjoyable holiday season, and many more to come.

    JimS.
    Seattle

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  17. I am leaving because my partner died and the mess that was left with no will was magnified by the corrupt police and dishonest lawyers, helpers etc. that populate this land. In front of my eyes his possessions just vanished. I have never seen so many scams, scam artists etc that are waiting to jump on the retirees. I live in a beautiful house but feel as though with the security system and bars, bars, bars that I am living a life of a bird locked in a gilted cage. The robberies are out of sight and I am not talking about just gringos. Honest Mexicans also complain about being robbed constantly if they are not vigilant. I lived in Africa for 10 years and never encountered so much dishonestly. Mexicans will swear on the bible, lie in front of lawyers about being honest with tears in their eyes. They borrow money for grandparents that have died triple times without any intention of paying back. The acting should be given an award alone. Retired people should be warned. Yes benefits such as cheap living can be had but no thanks, I value freedom. I could not even ride my bicycle in a predigous community on a bike path without a Mexican trying to knock me over to steal the bike and it was not an expensive bike.

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    1. Jessebele, I am so sorry to hear of your terrible experiences here. I lived in Lower La Floresta for years and never felt safe there. So many break ins. But now I live in an inexpensive Mexican community where I know my neighbors. They know me and my landlord and landlady live upstairs from me. I can always call out to them. I do believe that the safest place a person can live is in an inexpensive Mexican community where people know you. I am so sorry that your partner died. ANd all this mess that has happened to you has made having to deal with that death so much more difficult. And I am sorry that you have been so mistreated by vultures. I hope you find a better place to live where you feel safe and loved. thank you for writing. P

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  18. Patricia:
    We have been thinking about you and the wonderful blog you write. Your new look is delightful - shorter hair looks good on you! We will continue to keep you in our prayers and thoughts. Norma and Brad.

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