Morning Thoughts

I have often thought about what to put on my blog and what to leave off. I have learned through the years that if I am negative or if I say something negative about someone else, it always comes back to me tenfold. Negativity breeds negativity. So there are many things that happen in my life that I don't share on this blog.

Life can throw us some pretty bad punches.   We have all have had them thrown at us from time to time. And no matter how hard we try to control life, WE CAN'T. We can create the illusion of control and that is one reason for daily routines. And for staying in one place. But every so often we are made aware of how vast life is and how little of it we do control. Or understand.

I decided to put this tragedy on my blog because it is so close to my heart. Everything I do from now on will in some way be affected by what happened yesterday. Anyone who has lost a loved one will understand.

My son received a call from the sheriff in Arcata saying that his father was found in a car along an isolated road. He had shot and killed himself. My son told me and I fell apart. His father has been in and out of our lives for almost fifty years. He always had emotional and mental problems. He couldn't handle family life and left us when my son was just two years old. He threatened to shoot himself all during that time. It was always a fear in the back of our minds. He finally did it.

So if I don't write on my blog for a few days, you will understand why I am quiet. This has hit me really hard. I may just turn off the computer for awhile....... 

Morning Thoughts

It is another rainy, gloomy morning. Yesterday was the same and it was a very bad day for me. I spent most of the day trying to fix my computer iphoto program. Every time I turned it on, that little wheel would spin and I would have to get out of the program. So frustrating!

My son did what he could. He replaced my entire operating system. My iphoto program sill didn't work so I started trashing photos. I trashed 15,000 photos and I still had more on there. I didn't even take the time to see what I was trashing, I was so irritated after spending many hours trying to fix it. Later on, my daughter-in-law said that I should have put those photos on an external drive first to save them. But it was too late. And I was too irritated by then to even care. So the only photos I have now are the ones on my blog...

Time to start all over again. Maybe with everything. I am so irritated today that I feel like trashing everything I am doing down in Mexico, going someplace else. Like my son says, "You take pictures of the same six blocks over and over."  

Do I have enough courage to make these changes?  Only time will tell. I have over another month here to think about what  I would like to do next.....  Maybe if the sun would come out, this feeling of irritation with everything would go away. And right now the sun is peaking out of the clouds.

I am swimming in the mornings at the local pool and that helps but it isn't anything like swimming in those thermal waters in Mexico. I don't like swimming in lanes.  I am not good at sharing. If I have to share a lane,  I end up bumping into the side of the pool or worse, the person swimming close to me.  My injuries keep me from swimming in a straight line. Oh well, Life goes on... I hope my son will put another photo program on my computer so I can keep on taking photos.... I must be patient and ride out these bad times.....

Morning Thoughts in Portland

I am still in Portland and it is still overcast and cold. But yesterday was beautiful. The best thing to do is enjoy the sunny weather when it comes and sit out the rest of the gloomy days. I am hoping that in two more weeks it will be sunny everyday.

My son and daughter-in-law return tonight from England and Prague. I am looking forward to hearing all about their trip. It makes me want to travel too. But I can't figure out where I would want to go. Besides, Ajijic is hard to beat. It has everything I need and want. Well, maybe not everything, but pretty close.

For the things that I can't find in Ajijic, I have been ordering online to be delivered here. Or getting at yard sales. I went to a second hand store the other day and was shocked at the prices of things. Ten dollars for a stinky old pair of tennis shoes? Please......  That is as bad as the second hand stores in Ajijic. Not quite. In Ajijic they would be twenty dollars. I am not kidding.

I bought a watch. Without a working battery for six dollars and that was their sale price. I don't need any more watches. I mostly don't care what time it is anyway. But I like to wear them. I don't wear any other jewelry. This watch has no numbers on the face of it. Just a beautiful picture of a dragon fly. I probably will never be able to figure out the time when I look at it. But like I said, I don't care what time it is anyway.  It has a purple band. That is good enough for me. Purple is one of my favorite colors.

Maybe the sun will come out sometime today and I will take a walk with the two dogs. They follow me around everywhere and sit next to me. Several times I have almost tripped over them. Thank God for the love of dogs. I would be terribly lonely here without them.

Morning Thoughts--Another Rainy Day in Portland

Another rainy day. I have to keep reminding myself that the rain is what makes it so beautiful up here. But I miss the sunshine. We have had some glorious sunny days and then rain again. This is summer. Maybe their summer doesn't really start until July. Maybe July fourth is the beginning of summer.

My son and daughter-in-law went from England to Prague. They will be back Sunday night. I am looking forward to their return. This big house gets lonely, especially when it is gloomy outside. Like this morning. Very gloomy out there and cold in the house. I also don't know how to turn on their heater.  I am such a country mouse.

I have had a few conversations with one of the housemates. Yesterday he brought in some delicious looking chocolate cake which I managed to not sample. I love chocolate but this diet is starting to work. I wouldn't want to ruin it just for a few brief moments of chocolate melting in my mouth.

The other housemate, well I haven't seen him since my family left and we share a bathroom. I know he is here because sometimes the toilet seat is up.

The dogs have been a lot of company for me. They follow me from room to room. I am not flattering myself by saying they care that much for me. They are both on strict diets (more strict than mine). They are hoping that I will drop crumbs for them.

A couple I met through my blog came and took me out to dinner last night. I have seen them in Portland and in Ajijic and back in Portland again. We talked about all the ins and outs of living in Mexico . Biggest concern for newcomers seems to be healthcare. Will they get good healthcare there and can they afford it?

That is a hard question to answer. I keep the IMSS, the government health insurance. It costs me a little less than four hundred dollars a year and I haven't used it yet. I tried to use it when I broke my ankle but it was so overwhelming that I left the hospital and paid out of pocket at a private hospital. Two thousand dollars but it was worth every penny to not have to stay in a crowded hospital room with a catherer and heavily drugged for a week before I could get the operation at the IMSS hospital.

Another friend is coming to take me out to lunch. I knew her from twelve years ago when we were both living in Red Bluff, CA and taking care of our mothers. I haven't seen her for several years. I am really looking forward to seeing her again.

Lake Oswego, Part 3

Before I left Mexico, I was fantasizing about taking all of Mexico to Lake Oswego in my suitcase. After my morning walk today, I wanted to take all of Lake Oswego back to Mexico in my suitcase.

Lake Oswego, Oregon, Part 2

This dog's name is TANK

Beautiful sky this morning. I am happy!!!

Entrance to their community center.

Outside of the pool

The pool

I love these clouds

Morning Walk to the Pool and Back in Lake Oswego

House in the neighborhood

Lots of hills to walk up and down in this neighborhood. UGH

Farmer's Market and Park

What a beautiful, sunny day.