Night thoughts

It is July fifth and I did nothing worth mentioning today. And on July Fourth, what at one time was one of my favorite holidays, I went to the dentist for a root canal. That is a long ways from watching fireworks with loved ones after a picnic in the park.

I am glad this weekend is almost over. It is easier to handle ordinary days that have no expectations.
A holiday puts events under too bright of a light. And my mind drifts back to all the other same named holidays in my life. Seventy five of them. Of course, I don't remember every holiday. But I will remember this one as the day I had to go to the dentist for a root canal.

 No watermelon on a blanket  in the park. No barbecued hot dogs. No fireworks. No friends or family. Just the background sounds of terrible news coming from my i pad. I really should not listen to it. It is a poor substitute for human warmth. It is no substitute. It is the opposite. Just cold sounds that stir up fear. And make me feel even more isolated.

This evening as I turned on the news, against my decision not to do that, I heard another song by the Sons of New York. Again, it was the ad before the news. The song is titled, American Dream. The words and images fit perfectly for this holiday weekend.  It helped me to step outside of myself enough to see this Fourth of July from a different perspective. Less personal. More inclusive.

 It also made me think that I am not alone in these feelings of fear and isolation. Many people may be having the same feelings. This is not the usual Fourth of July holiday. Maybe more along the lines of a root canal instead of a picnic in the park with loved ones. God help us all!