A narrow vision

My world has become very small. As the pandemic expands, my life shrinks. Hard to tell by what goes on in my neighborhood. The only difference I see from a year ago is all the masks now. The Mexicans have finally started wearing them. The bus drivers won't let people on without masks. Of course, often they are pushed soon down to the neck after people sit down. But it is mostly business as usual here. No let up. Restaurants are busy. Stores are crowded. Life goes on as usual. But not mine. I am trying to be a good girl. The symptoms of corona virus scare me. I have had pneumonia and not been able to breathe deeply. It is a terrible feeling. Plus, I am not ready to die yet.

I vaguely remember the thousands of photos I have taken in the past of festivals, events, parades with dancing horses, restaurant meals, friends. Everything imaginable. Now all I have to share are four photos. The first one is of the late afternoon light coming in my bedroom window. The second is of a bored dog. The third is of a bored cat. (Yes, I believe that my animals are also very bored.) And the last one is of flowers from my garden that I put in styrofoam cups at my kitchen window.

Not much to offer. Just feeding my blog, trying to keep it alive too. It is all about maintaining these days.

Good news. This coming Sunday I get to go to the dentist for part two of a four part root canal series. At least I will be noticed and touched and have something different to do. My life has definitely gone downhill.

An experiment

I am bored. So this afternoon I tried an experiment. Making a video of my back garden and seeing if I can get it on here. The music in the background is from my neighbor. And this is one of their quieter times. Some days I can't even sit in my garden because the music is blasting out, and even into all the rooms of my house. At least they are playing mellow songs today.

I got a shot of my cat. I just put medicine in her eye. I would say that is why she is so passive. But she is an old cat and mostly she is sleeping. I caught her right after her dinner. She is already back to sleep.

Morning thoughts

I haven't written for awhile so I am just checking in, feeding the blog so it doesn't die completely. I don't like to write when I have nothing to say and am depressed. We all have our downs. No reason for me to inflict mine on anyone else.

It is morning and it is still dark outside. There is a rolling thunder going on overhead. It doesn't stop. You know how a plane sounds when it comes in low. That is how this thunder sounds with no break. It has been going on for a couple of hours. Very unusual.

 My cat woke me up as she cried around the house. She only settled down after I got up and sat at the i pad. I had already fed her an hour earlier so she wasn't hungry. Maybe all this noise was upsetting to her. She is now snoozing next to me. And of course, I am wide awake. I would have loved a couple of extra hours of sleep. But my cat is more important to me than sleep. I don't know what I would do without the company of my animals.

I never see any friends. The only people I interact with these days are the check out women at the local grocery store and the man who takes my temperature before I can get in the pool area. Last evening the police truck rolled down my street again, telling everyone to stay inside. I hadn't heard it for quite a few days.

The local paper warned us that we might go into lockdown again because the virus cases have been going up. It is alarming to see two hundred more deaths every time I check the count online, which is every day. But even more alarming is looking at the news from the USA. I need to quit doing that.

I have been walking to the pool and swimming three days a week. I hope that isn't taken away from me if they lockdown again. It has been a lifesaver for me. Good luck to everyone out there. Hope you stay safe and well.

Night thoughts

It is July fifth and I did nothing worth mentioning today. And on July Fourth, what at one time was one of my favorite holidays, I went to the dentist for a root canal. That is a long ways from watching fireworks with loved ones after a picnic in the park.

I am glad this weekend is almost over. It is easier to handle ordinary days that have no expectations.
A holiday puts events under too bright of a light. And my mind drifts back to all the other same named holidays in my life. Seventy five of them. Of course, I don't remember every holiday. But I will remember this one as the day I had to go to the dentist for a root canal.

 No watermelon on a blanket  in the park. No barbecued hot dogs. No fireworks. No friends or family. Just the background sounds of terrible news coming from my i pad. I really should not listen to it. It is a poor substitute for human warmth. It is no substitute. It is the opposite. Just cold sounds that stir up fear. And make me feel even more isolated.

This evening as I turned on the news, against my decision not to do that, I heard another song by the Sons of New York. Again, it was the ad before the news. The song is titled, American Dream. The words and images fit perfectly for this holiday weekend.  It helped me to step outside of myself enough to see this Fourth of July from a different perspective. Less personal. More inclusive.

 It also made me think that I am not alone in these feelings of fear and isolation. Many people may be having the same feelings. This is not the usual Fourth of July holiday. Maybe more along the lines of a root canal instead of a picnic in the park with loved ones. God help us all!

the tomato truck

The tomato truck came by just now. Two kilos for less than a dollar. And they are very good and sweet. Last batch I made tomato soup and tomato sauce. Now I have something to do today.

Morning thoughts

I haven't been on here much because there is nothing I can write that is any new or different from what was going on in my life a month ago or two or three months ago. Every day is just a repeat of the day before. Except that I am walking half an hour to the pool and swimming an hour and walking home again. But lately there has been too much rain in the mornings to do that.

The only people I see are at the local grocery store or passing on the street.  I did have a knock on my door two days ago. That surprised me. I opened the door to a salesman who was trying to get me to buy funeral services. He handed me his flyer. He looked like he had hit the jackpot. An elderly expat. The perfect consumer of their death services during this pandemic. I just said that I didn't speak Spanish and I shut the door in his face. I saw on the flyer that I could have bought their services on time. Three years and no interest. I wonder how they collect from a dead person.