Thursday, March 27, 2014
I decided to write again after days and days of depression and anger. Someone told me that depression is anger turned inward. Maybe that is what was going on. Too many bad things happened at once in my life. My friend Tammy and her dog Kito left in one day and the next day I had that meeting with La Floresta Association about the key. It was like one of those nightmares where you beg for something essential for your life and a panel of cold people look at you with hard eyes and say no. They didn't even have the decency to raise their hands. They had to put their big NOs on napkins and push them forward to the man in charge. Then he read them off one at a time while glaring at me. NO, NO, NO, NO......
I left there furious at them and then I became depressed. I decided to move to the room where Tammy had been living just to have a change and something to do. I am still hobbling around with the bad ankle but it is getting better. Yesterday I managed to even climb over the fence because I had to go and get some food at the Wednesday market. But I had no desire to take photos and the market had lost it's glow. Everything here has lost it's glow for me after seeing how things work behind the scenes. That a few scared people can block off our streets and force everyone to climb over the fence makes me see things in a different light here.
Someone today wrote to me asking if I thought it was a good idea for her to quit her government job and sell her house and come down here to open a bed and breakfast. She was only 47. I wrote back, NO. Not a good idea. There are too many people here with bed and breakfasts and restaurants and other businesses and they can't make it financially.
Once I get out of this funk, I may write again. I can't put on any photos because my internet isn't working fast enough. The internet people insist it is our problem and refuse to come out and check it. Just another log for the fire of my bad mood these days.
Thank all of you who wrote to me to encourage me to continue the blog. I deeply appreciate that. I will wait a few more days and if I am in a better mood, I may write again. Maybe not......