Thoughts on Making Transitions

I am not good at making transitions. I know how quickly and easily things can happen. Lives can be changed forever in an instant. One slip and a wrist is fractured. One minute of carelessness and a purse is stolen. Passports get misplaced. Airplanes can be missed. My imagination can't begin to conjure up all the things that can happen to change a well planned out trip.

This area swells with Americans and Canadians in the winter. Now is the time when most of them go north. We all have to deal with our individual transitions. Maybe it is easier for others than it is for me. I am such a worrier. I want to anticipate everything that can go wrong so I can keep it from happening. This trait causes me many sleepless nights before leaving a place.

I worry about what is in store for me back in the States. I worry about the state of the economy, insurances, the condition of my house, my friends and their problems and all the possible demands that are going to engulf me when I get back. Will I be healthy enough to come back? I am already missing my life here and I haven't even left yet. I have said this before; I am a terrible traveler.

I have always been a worrier. One of the first memories I have is sitting on the floor next to my mother while she is standing at the ironing board, ironing one of my dresses and worrying about outgrowing my clothes. I asked her, When I grow bigger and outgrow my clothes how can I get to the store to get new ones if I have nothing to wear? I will be naked... My mother thought that was funny. I remember in grade school my father threatening me. He would say, I am not going to LET you go to college if you don't stop worrying so much about your homework......

Worrying is a terrible affliction. I know the most obvious answer to these worries is faith. I need to quit trying to control the flow of my life and have faith that a higher power is in charge. I have experienced it many times. Chance meetings that I know were predetermined; coincidences that meant too much not to have been arranged by a power higher than myself.

I know this in my heart but my mind keeps me up nights worrying and trying to make sure all goes well. Am I forgetting to pack something I will need once I arrive at my new destination? Will I oversleep? Did I forget to say good bye to someone important to me? Do I owe anyone favors or money? Is there any unfinished business here? How will Chico, the dog who sleeps with me, get along when I am gone? Will he be loved enough? Will my place still be available when I return? Will my friends here want to spend time with me again or will they have replaced me with others? Will people stop reading my blog?

One of the biggest worries is the fear that I will get so caught up in the next environment and all the problems or good things that I won't make it back here again..... I am happy here. I have been happy for six months. I want to remember it. I hope this blog will help me remember and help me to have whatever strength it takes for me to come back. I don't know how the Snow Birds do this year after year. As soon as my place sells in the States I am going to settle down here. That may be a long time from now. I am going to try not to worry about it.