Morning Thoughts--Father's Day

Next Sunday is Father's Day. For some reason I have been thinking about my father the past few days. He died at 53 years old with a massive heart attack. He thought he had indigestion, fell on the floor and died. Heart attacks run in my family, on both sides, so I never thought I would live this long. 

I only have one photo of my father with me but I hope my son still has others that I gave him years ago. A few weeks ago I read an article about a writer, Gerald Murnane. He lives in a town of 300 people in Australia. I will tell you more about him and my father after this photo of him.

First off, Gerald Murnane is 79 years old in the above photo. If I had a photo of my father at 53, before he died, you would see that he looks just like this man. Not so much in the next photo. It was taken when he was in World War II and he was only in his early thirties. 

Strange that I still have this little document. It is only three inches high and four inches wide. When I get to my son's house I will put on a photo of my father before he died and you will be amazed at his likeness to Murnane.

You may be wondering why this is so important to me. Because of the article about Murnane. He has rejected modern life. He has never been on an airplane. He has never been swimming or on a boat. He doesn't own a television. He doesn't own a computer. He writes with one finger on an old typewriter. He doesn't travel. He lives in a little room behind his son's house with all his writings and once a week he plays golf with his old friends. And with all of this rejection of modern life, he may be the next Nobel Laureate in Literature. Who says that you can't write unless you have experienced the world, traveled the world, been part of society? 

These days there seems to be a belief going around that if you don't travel then you are somehow less interesting, less of a person than the travelers. And certainly not able to know the depths of human nature enough to be a great writer. But maybe this myth isn't true. Maybe you don't have to experience the world in order to be a well rounded person, or to be a great writer or any other kind of artist or humanitarian. Gerald Murnane is an inspiration to me. Because of him I no longer feel this lingering since of guilt because I don't go out and travel the world. I am happy just to have a simple life, filled with daily routines and a few close friends. 

What does this have to do with my father? Other than the fact that my father as he was older looked like Murnane? I feel less judgmental of my father. He never traveled except to fight in the war. He picked up body parts on the front line as a medic. He wasn't allowed to carry a gun. He didn't write. He didn't even go to high school. He just worked at a simple job and took care of his family and suffered terribly from PTSD... And isn't that enough for one man in one lifetime?

When I was young I wanted to be a famous writer. Now I just want to have a peaceful life. I don't care that I haven't traveled the world. Look at Anthony Bourdain. He traveled the world. He was rich and famous. And he couldn't stand to live any longer. Maybe our values are turned upside down. What we think is important, isn't.... What we think isn't important, is.... 

  What really matters? A sense of Peace and Security? A sense of belonging to a family, a neighborhood and a country? Love? Self respect? Contentment? Friendships? Trust? The beauty of nature? Health? 

 I have no answers. This is just my way of honoring Gerald Murnane for living his truth without apologizies and inspiring me to do the same. Also my way of honoring my father for loving his family. And my own apology to my father's spirit, if he is around to know it, for my misguided and false values and judgments of him. I had wanted him to be a hero but he turned out to just be a man and that is far more than enough..... I can see that now that my own life is quickly coming to an end. I didn't need to become rich or famous. I just needed to love, respect and accept others. Especially my family. 

Again, sorry that no one can comment on here. E mail me if you want to comment: Petwalker40@yahoo.com. Hopefully my son can fix this problem in a few weeks.