Locked in My Own Yard

This is the time of year when people start getting desperate. I remember last year as the holidays approached, there were many people coming to my house asking for money. On a daily basis there would be Mexican women and men knocking on my door with hard luck stories. Many of them were accompanied by sad looking children and crying babies. This would happen several times a day.

I never open my gate for strangers. I am alone here now and there has been too much theft going on in my neighborhood. My landlord is gone for a few months. Last night a Mexican woman came to my gate, which is very high, and was asking for money. I didn't open the gate for her. So as she left she said in English, Have a good day. And she pulled the monster latch closed on me. She had locked me in my own place.... Now I have no idea of why there are locks like that on the outside of my gate. It is obvious that a person could get locked inside. Fortunately, I have a phone and friends in the outside world. So someone came to let me out after a little while. I was starting to panic. I don't like to be locked inside of anything. I am claustrophobic.

This experience has gotten me to thinking about the problems of poverty here. Many Mexicans see the Americans as wealthy. By their standards we are wealthy. But if we were to start giving our money to everyone who came to our door, we would quickly be poor too.... I try to live on very little money as I am still paying rent in the States on my unsold mobile home. But there is no way to convince a poor Mexican that I too have financial problems. So, now I have this added feeling of discomfort that the spiteful woman may come back here and lock me in again and maybe next time I won't be able to reach anyone. I can't call out to the street or neighbors because this house is too isolated for anyone to hear me. Bad times are here for poor people and also not so great times for people like me who are living on the edge. It is no fun to have to turn away so many people or to fear their anger when I don't shell out money.

When I go to the outdoor market I am immediately accosted by people asking me to give to them. Some of them are quite aggressive. Several elderly women will come up to me when I am getting change from the vendors and thrust their hands in my face. They look at me with accusing eyes that say, you are rich and you should give me your change. If I were to give to everyone, I would have no money for my own shopping. This is a continual problem here and it always gets worse as the holidays approach. I have no answers. It makes me very sad.