Morning Thoughts

I have often thought about what to put on my blog and what to leave off. I have learned through the years that if I am negative or if I say something negative about someone else, it always comes back to me tenfold. Negativity breeds negativity. So there are many things that happen in my life that I don't share on this blog.

Life can throw us some pretty bad punches.   We have all have had them thrown at us from time to time. And no matter how hard we try to control life, WE CAN'T. We can create the illusion of control and that is one reason for daily routines. And for staying in one place. But every so often we are made aware of how vast life is and how little of it we do control. Or understand.

I decided to put this tragedy on my blog because it is so close to my heart. Everything I do from now on will in some way be affected by what happened yesterday. Anyone who has lost a loved one will understand.

My son received a call from the sheriff in Arcata saying that his father was found in a car along an isolated road. He had shot and killed himself. My son told me and I fell apart. His father has been in and out of our lives for almost fifty years. He always had emotional and mental problems. He couldn't handle family life and left us when my son was just two years old. He threatened to shoot himself all during that time. It was always a fear in the back of our minds. He finally did it.

So if I don't write on my blog for a few days, you will understand why I am quiet. This has hit me really hard. I may just turn off the computer for awhile.......